If it’s the wrong path, change it!

“If you don’t like the road you’re walking, start paving another one” – Dolly Parton.

Photo by Sebastian Estrada on Unsplash

Welcome back to today’s show, my name is Richard and I am overjoyed you are here. This show is still very young and growing. As you will learn as you go on this journey with me, I march to the beat of my own drum.

Many podcaster’s take their first episode and explain who “they” are; Where they came from and how they got to this point and why they are starting this show. Myself, I have given a little bit of why I have started podcasting, but no one really knows anything about “me”.

I was born in Kansas City, Mo. We moved around most of my life. My father was in the Navy so we never stayed anywhere too long. We had a good life so to speak, we always had food on the table and a roof over our heads.

Now growing up we were not the popular ones and we did have friends but nothing steady. I went into the military right out of high school. After the Army, I got into truck driving and just loved it. I had the freedom to basically do anything I wanted.

This is where I started to run into problems in my life. I changed jobs a lot, I would fight at the drop of a hat, and I would degrade people that didn’t see things my way.

Slowly, by the time I got into my 30’s, I started to realize that the road I was on was filled with major mountains, valley’s, and potholes (sounds like some of the roads I drove on…lol).

I’ll be totally transparent here, on my 30th birthday, I remember I was in Dallas, TX and the air conditioner was broke in my truck. It was 108 degrees that day in August. I was waiting to get a load so I could get back and fix my truck. I got a motel on the east side of town. I don’t know how and I wasn’t really looking, but somehow I had managed to find a prostitute.

After everything was said and done, I just sat there and a feeling came over me and I told myself then that I was never going to do that again. I felt worthless, ashamed, and disheartened. It was on that hot August day in 2000 that I was going to start paving another road.

That’s what I set out to do, and it’s been bumpy, rocky, and hilly to say the least. I have learned so much of what not to do that my only option was to start doing what I was supposed to do. I was still new to the internet so I didn’t know then what I know now.

But as the weeks and months rolled by, I began to read my bible, and I listened to people that acted like I wanted to be. I had begun the long transformation from who I was to who I wanted to be.

I wanted to help as many people as I could. Slowly over time my eyes were opened and I was seeing the way I used to be. Wow, is all I can say, I just couldn’t believe that is who I was. I kept striving to learn as much as I could to be a better person.

But, while I was learning that, not only had I been driving a truck, I had been a bartender, DJ, Karaoke DJ, a manager and DJ of a Gentlemen’s club, and a carpenter to just name a few.

I had lived Colorado, Nebraska, Missouri, Kansas, South Korea, and in my truck. I thought I had life by the tail. Oh I did alright, but that tail was flipping all around. This is a life that I don’t wish on anyone.

While I did have fun, there were a lot of times that I didn’t have fun and I slowly came to realize that I needed to change. The big change again (which has spurred me here) was back in 2007 when my second wife asked me to leave.

Photo by Jamie Street on Unsplash

I had talked about that in my 2nd episode and that really hurt me. Since that time I woke up and really started to learn about how to be a better person. I didn’t like the road I was walking on, so I started to pave another one. Now, just to be clear, the quote for this show I had never heard before until today.

But, as I read this it made me go back and think about what I had to do to get here to write this blog and do this podcast. I kept having this feeling inside of me that I needed to do everything I could to change (I will say it was God convicting me). Because, I knew if I didn’t heed this feeling, my life was fixing to spiral out of control.

Have you ever felt this way? Has something in your life made you stop and think that you needed to go a different way or you wasn’t going to make it? That was where I was at, and really at the time I didn’t have too many people I could count on. I had burned a lot of bridges.

So, how do you rebound from something like that? Well, the only thing I knew to do was start to build new relationships, and try and rekindle old relationships. It has been hard to say the least, I am achieving it slowly, but it is a struggle at times.

Now for about the last 6 years or so I have had this idea that I wanted to start a podcast, where I might have a chance to help someone to maybe achieve the level of happiness that I am at or even go beyond to a greater level of happiness. My problems with that were, I was scared thinking that I would ridiculed, laughed at, put down in some way, and I didn’t think anybody wanted to hear what I had to say.

Raise your hand if you have thought this way, or still thinking this way. Since I have taken that immortal first step and started this, I have found a renewed confidence in myself. I know now that I CAN achieve anything I want. I just have to take that first step, or if you prefer, I have sail my own ship.

No one is going to do it for you, everyone is out for themselves. You have to decide how much and how bad do you want this. If you really want to change your life and don’t know where to start, send me an email Richard@mypromisinglife.com I am not certified in anything but I can provide an ear to listen and I might offer up some advice that might or might not help. That would be for you to decide.

Until then, I want to wish you the best in whatever you decide to do with the new road you plan to pave. I would love to hear about it.

I want to thank you for listening this week, and I pray that you got some value out of it. Until then stand tall, smile, and know that at least one person in this world loves you. Have a great week.

Which is better? Future or Past?

Photo by Drew Beamer on Unsplash

I like the dreams of the future better than the history of the past. – Thomas Jefferson (April 13, 1743 – July 4, 1826, 3rd US President)

We all have a past, some of it is good and some of it is bad. Some of us can’t get past the bad to remember the good. That has so many people stuck in the same rut as they’ve always been in. These people want to be better, do better, and have more but they just keep on doing what they’ve always done. Because that is what they are comfortable with.

In episode 3 I talked about getting out of your comfort zone to grow and experience new things. We all have dreams of a better future, but some of us don’t know how to get over the past. There is still hope, if you want it.

I don’t know about you, but I have always been a dreamer. I have come up with some great ideas, I’ve even tried a few. But, it seems like I am always right there but have never been able to crossover and “make it”. I don’t know if it’s something from my past that I haven’t dealt with, or exactly what it is.

I’ve started many things and either I will get sidetracked by something else or I’ll get cold feet and tell myself that no one will want what I have to offer. I would like you to try something, it might be hard but in order to move forward we have to go backward for a minute.

Photo by Romain Robe on Unsplash

Whenever you can find a quiet minute, sit back and think, what is holding you back from achieving what you desire? For some it’s easy to figure out… other’s it’s harder. I’m in the other group, somethings are hard for me to figure out.

I was spending some time with my buddy John and we were talking and he’s like me. We are great listeners and can help someone else with what they are going through, but to do it ourselves it’s a little harder. I am starting to overcome it and apply what I tell others to my life and things are going better.

Since I have been doing this, I’ve noticed that I’m a lot calmer and welcome the chance to talk and meet with people. Just today I was talking to some one who came into the shop to buy tires and I had the courage to tell him that I was making this podcast.

Now I don’t think he knew what a podcast was, but that’s not the point. Before, I would have been scared to say anything for fear that I would be laughed at or ridiculed. You see, it’s the little steps we take to get us farther than we have ever gone before. Whatever you call it, you have to take that first step and then another one, then another one. Before you know it, shoot your half way there.

Some of the time that is where I really get scared, is when I am halfway. I started this business in 2009, selling gelatin air freshener’s that I made at a large flea market. Now this flea market had 12-13,000 people a day come through on the weekend. What was the slap in the face was that I didn’t sell but about 4 air fresheners out of the 2,000 I made. I tried for a solid month. Shoot I even added trinkets, now those sold pretty decently. But it wasn’t enough to make up what I had spent. I desperately wanted to keep going, but I couldn’t justify the ROI. So, I closed up shop and paid back what I borrowed and went back to work. I took a little break from stepping out again.

I went back to a regular job, where I knew it was safe. I was putting myself down because I was back in my comfort zone. Since that time, I’ve dabbled in a couple of other ideas but nothing on the scale that I attempted in 2009. In fact this podcast is the start of one of my dreams for me. My other dream is to become a successful photographer. I still have my job, for now because I still have bills to pay.

I know though, if I keep going I will succeed in my dreams. When I turned 50, I took a couple of days and reflected on the 50 years I have been alive. I realized that just about every dream that I had came true. Talk about a WOW moment, that really set me back in awe that I had actually achieved what I set out to do.

What really got me to wondering though, what was I going to do now? I really didn’t know. Well, I still had this idea to start a podcast, and I did have my photography, but that was it. It was scary for me because I’ve always had multiple dreams.

So, I just kept working and taking life one day at a time. I feel like I have another 50 years ahead of me and I want to make it better than my first 50. So here we are 6 months after my 50th birthday and I am going to start this podcast doing something that I have always wanted to do. Help you become better today than you were yesterday. Just like I am doing with myself.

If you truly want to have a happier life, you need to change. That might mean leaving some friends (family) behind. If the people in your life don’t make you a better person, then you need to find better people. I won’t lie to you, that is going to be hard. It’s hard for me and something I’m still working on myself. So, don’t feel alone in this, you are not alone.

Photo by Simon Migaj on Unsplash

What I can say is, when you start to find the right people to help you and not hurt you, you will not only be happier, life will start to get easier. It seems I am someone people like to have a laugh at my expense. It starts out fun and games at first, but as time goes on it bothers me. When I was in my 20’s I was just like they were, except meaner about it. I made fun of anyone who didn’t think like I did and at that time I didn’t care what anyone thought. I had a lot of growing up to do.

It took me a while to do it, but now instead of tearing someone down because I don’t believe what they do. I try to understand their way of thinking and see if I can find some common ground. It doesn’t always work, but I don’t shoot them down for it, I try to lift them up. If I’m not able to lift the person up, I pray that the seeds I have planted will one day take root.

I hope you found this helpful in some way or another and if you have then by all means please share this podcast with someone so they can maybe benefit from it. I look forward until the next time, when we can get together and learn something new. Until then, smile and know that you can achieve what you believe. Have a blessed day.