If it’s the wrong path, change it!

“If you don’t like the road you’re walking, start paving another one” – Dolly Parton.

Photo by Sebastian Estrada on Unsplash

Welcome back to today’s show, my name is Richard and I am overjoyed you are here. This show is still very young and growing. As you will learn as you go on this journey with me, I march to the beat of my own drum.

Many podcaster’s take their first episode and explain who “they” are; Where they came from and how they got to this point and why they are starting this show. Myself, I have given a little bit of why I have started podcasting, but no one really knows anything about “me”.

I was born in Kansas City, Mo. We moved around most of my life. My father was in the Navy so we never stayed anywhere too long. We had a good life so to speak, we always had food on the table and a roof over our heads.

Now growing up we were not the popular ones and we did have friends but nothing steady. I went into the military right out of high school. After the Army, I got into truck driving and just loved it. I had the freedom to basically do anything I wanted.

This is where I started to run into problems in my life. I changed jobs a lot, I would fight at the drop of a hat, and I would degrade people that didn’t see things my way.

Slowly, by the time I got into my 30’s, I started to realize that the road I was on was filled with major mountains, valley’s, and potholes (sounds like some of the roads I drove on…lol).

I’ll be totally transparent here, on my 30th birthday, I remember I was in Dallas, TX and the air conditioner was broke in my truck. It was 108 degrees that day in August. I was waiting to get a load so I could get back and fix my truck. I got a motel on the east side of town. I don’t know how and I wasn’t really looking, but somehow I had managed to find a prostitute.

After everything was said and done, I just sat there and a feeling came over me and I told myself then that I was never going to do that again. I felt worthless, ashamed, and disheartened. It was on that hot August day in 2000 that I was going to start paving another road.

That’s what I set out to do, and it’s been bumpy, rocky, and hilly to say the least. I have learned so much of what not to do that my only option was to start doing what I was supposed to do. I was still new to the internet so I didn’t know then what I know now.

But as the weeks and months rolled by, I began to read my bible, and I listened to people that acted like I wanted to be. I had begun the long transformation from who I was to who I wanted to be.

I wanted to help as many people as I could. Slowly over time my eyes were opened and I was seeing the way I used to be. Wow, is all I can say, I just couldn’t believe that is who I was. I kept striving to learn as much as I could to be a better person.

But, while I was learning that, not only had I been driving a truck, I had been a bartender, DJ, Karaoke DJ, a manager and DJ of a Gentlemen’s club, and a carpenter to just name a few.

I had lived Colorado, Nebraska, Missouri, Kansas, South Korea, and in my truck. I thought I had life by the tail. Oh I did alright, but that tail was flipping all around. This is a life that I don’t wish on anyone.

While I did have fun, there were a lot of times that I didn’t have fun and I slowly came to realize that I needed to change. The big change again (which has spurred me here) was back in 2007 when my second wife asked me to leave.

Photo by Jamie Street on Unsplash

I had talked about that in my 2nd episode and that really hurt me. Since that time I woke up and really started to learn about how to be a better person. I didn’t like the road I was walking on, so I started to pave another one. Now, just to be clear, the quote for this show I had never heard before until today.

But, as I read this it made me go back and think about what I had to do to get here to write this blog and do this podcast. I kept having this feeling inside of me that I needed to do everything I could to change (I will say it was God convicting me). Because, I knew if I didn’t heed this feeling, my life was fixing to spiral out of control.

Have you ever felt this way? Has something in your life made you stop and think that you needed to go a different way or you wasn’t going to make it? That was where I was at, and really at the time I didn’t have too many people I could count on. I had burned a lot of bridges.

So, how do you rebound from something like that? Well, the only thing I knew to do was start to build new relationships, and try and rekindle old relationships. It has been hard to say the least, I am achieving it slowly, but it is a struggle at times.

Now for about the last 6 years or so I have had this idea that I wanted to start a podcast, where I might have a chance to help someone to maybe achieve the level of happiness that I am at or even go beyond to a greater level of happiness. My problems with that were, I was scared thinking that I would ridiculed, laughed at, put down in some way, and I didn’t think anybody wanted to hear what I had to say.

Raise your hand if you have thought this way, or still thinking this way. Since I have taken that immortal first step and started this, I have found a renewed confidence in myself. I know now that I CAN achieve anything I want. I just have to take that first step, or if you prefer, I have sail my own ship.

No one is going to do it for you, everyone is out for themselves. You have to decide how much and how bad do you want this. If you really want to change your life and don’t know where to start, send me an email Richard@mypromisinglife.com I am not certified in anything but I can provide an ear to listen and I might offer up some advice that might or might not help. That would be for you to decide.

Until then, I want to wish you the best in whatever you decide to do with the new road you plan to pave. I would love to hear about it.

I want to thank you for listening this week, and I pray that you got some value out of it. Until then stand tall, smile, and know that at least one person in this world loves you. Have a great week.

When Do You Plan To Start?

You know how everyone on Social Media talks about and having resolutions/goals to help you make it in the New Year. Why is that a big thing? Why can’t you start your new year today!

“Tomorrow is the first blank page of a 365 page book. Write a good one.” -Brad Paisley (country singer)

Photo by Brooke Cagle on Unsplash

I, like so many of you fell into the trap of making resolutions/goals every year and I planned on starting it on January 1st. Usually, by the second or third week of the month I gave up and went back to the same thing I did before. That is what many of us still do today.

I still see many of you getting on the bandwagon and have the best of intentions, then life gets in the way and we revert back to our old comfortable ways. The only way to grow is to get out of our comfort zone and push through the negative thoughts in our head.

We have trained our brains to what we think is comfortable and we enjoy it. The only way to grow in life is to break those chains and do things we have never done before. Or to do something we are terrified to do. That is the only way we are going to grow.

I have friends/family (and I am guilty of this myself) that stay in the same old rut and let everything and everyone get us down. All that is doing, is keeping us where we always have been.

If you truly want something different in life, then you have to get out of your head and take that first step. In this area I am no different than you, except that I am now doing this podcast. I have been preparing this for 4 years now. I have content coming out of my ears and getting more and more everyday.

Why, haven’t I started until now you ask? I’ll be honest with you… I was scared to get out of my comfort zone. I have done many other things in my life that weren’t in my comfort zone and it was amazing. I have been on an Internet radio show, I have been on a TV morning show, and a few other things that escape me at the moment.

So you might wonder why I am scared to do this? That is a great question. Maybe, it’s because I think people will laugh at me. Is one thing that comes to mind. Maybe, it’s partly the fear of failure. The reason I say that is because I have tried to start a couple of businesses in the past and have failed miserably.

I have tried network marketing and haven’t had much luck there either. I have tried selling things and have failed at that. I have been divorced twice…see why I am a little hesitant?

Have I stopped trying? No. I haven’t, I have just taken a long pause to try and figure out what would work for me. During this time I have come to realize that even though I might get laughed at, slammed, or put down (for whatever reason). I am going to keep going. Because this is what I like to do. Help people become a better version of themselves than they were the day before.

Photo by Nikita Kachanovsky on Unsplash

I have learned how to be happy in the face of getting yelled at for whatever the reason. I have had things thrown at me and instead of flipping out and acting like a crazy man. I sit down, and instead of dwelling on the problem, I look for a solution. When I find a path that will work, I also have a plan B. I don’t dwell on what people say that I HAVE to do. I dwell on what I AM going to do and put my plan into motion.

Something else I have come to realize is that people/businesses will try to say anything to get you to do what they want. That is where I figure what they can and can’t do at that particular time and fashion my plans around that. I want to get whatever it is and get the problem took care of, but sometimes, what they want won’t work for me.

Instead of fighting with them, I will present my plan and be flexible (to a point). I do this with everything that gets thrown at me and have come to the realization that a lot of the time. We can come to an amicable agreement.

In doing this I have more and better peace than I have ever dreamed of. I am not scared and worried what people will think of me, I live life on my terms. I am still working in this area, and that is my past. I have put a lot of it behind me because it wasn’t that great and I don’t let it define who I am.

I have taken what I have needed from that era. Figured out where I went wrong, and have adjusted me so I can be a better person. I still have people (in my life) who live in the past and won’t see 6 inches past their nose to see what I have become. I am fine with that, because there ship still hasn’t sailed and it probably never will.

What I am saying here is if you have people in your life holding you back, for whatever reason learn to move on and be the person that you want to see. If you don’t know who that person is, take some time and figure it out. You will be a lot happier for it.

Photo by Markos Mant on Unsplash

So, as this is a new year, try to break out of your comfort zone and do something that you have never done before or something that you’ve always wanted to do. You haven’t missed the boat, because you haven’t sailed it yet, it’s still in the dock. Shove off and set your sail for something that you have always wanted to do.

As you begin on this journey, take notes, write down what you are experiencing. Then each day, week, or month go back and review what has worked and what hasn’t, and adjust from there. You will be surprised how far you have traveled in such a short time. Once you realize that your out to sea, then there’s no sense in turning back and losing all of the progress you have made. Sail on, keep going, your in control of what you want to accomplish. The world is what you want it to be. Not what someone tells you it has to be.

I truly want to see everyone, make something of themselves, be happy with themselves, and DO NOT apologize for what you want to do. Have fun, be kind, and smile, life will definitely smile back.